just came back from the cinema and seeing everyone there dressing up in pink or pastel to go and see Barbie is so amazing i feel like I’m witnessing a real moment in pop culture history
(edit:
i have to post some of the tags on this post bc it’s making me cry guys)
PRAYING that barbie sweeps the oscars not because i have anything against oppenheimer but because one of the few joys in life is seeing film bros melt down when movies primarily made for women are lauded as serious and important works
barbie was insane. there was a snyder cut justice league joke, greta gerwig acknowledged her white feminism during the narrative i choked on my drink when they said let ken play guitar At you (for four hours), as is traditional during cishetro relationships allan was nonbinary. Ken Discovered Patriarchy and Recreated it in Barbieland. i was briefly sexually attracted to ryan gosling and there was a homoerotic fight scene accompanied by a musical number
one of the things that i loved about barbie (2023) that i think a lot of the posts making fun of male-written reviews miss is that, though the movie presents itself as a commentary on the patriarchy and sexism, the message at the core of the film isn’t actually limited to being about (cis) women. it’s about anyone who is Other.
i went to go see the movie on thursday afternoon before all the big midnight premieres, and the theater was still packed. there wasn’t an empty seat in the entire theater. i had a seat at the end of the row, which i had picked out in a faint (futile) hope that no one would sit next to me. thirty seconds before the trailers started, a family of about 10 black people walked in and split up, presumably because they’d only just bought their tickets and there were no longer 10 seats together. the dad and the son, who was maybe a few years younger than me in his early-20s, a good foot and a half taller than me, and who i recognized as one of the football players at the local university, ended up taking the two empty seats next to me with the linebacker in the seat right next to me. and that was pretty much the last time i thought of them until the last twenty minutes of the movie.
see, in the last twenty minutes of the movie, america ferrera makes an impassioned speech about not just the limitations that male-dominated society puts on women but the limitations that women put on themselves in order to survive in said male-dominated society. it’s about the contradictions that we’re subjected to–you can’t be too much, but you can’t be too little either. you have to lift each other up but you’re also in constant competition with other women for the shredded dregs of respect that men have left over for us. you can’t say yes to a man because then you’re a whore but you can’t say no because then you’re a prude. it was passionate and bitter and furious and it had every woman in the theater, myself included, in tears.
and in the silence of the theater following america ferrera’s plea for barbie not to make herself less just so that society isn’t threatened by her, the linebacker sitting next to me said fervently, “i feel that.”
it brought everything to a screeching halt. now i’m a white woman, and though i’m fat and nowhere near as gorgeous as margot robbie, from the very first trailer, it was obvious that this was going to be a movie for me. and if done right, it was going to be a movie for all women (and i would argue that it was). but the thing that it also did right was that though the surface of the message was about women making themselves lesser, the core was that it was for anyone who makes themselves lesser to fit in. yeah, it’s for women who are trying to fit into a male-dominated society, but it’s also for bipoc who are trying to fit into a white-dominated society. it’s for trans people trying to fit into a cis-dominated society. it’s for gay people trying to fit into a heterosexual-dominated society. it’s for anyone who’s been Othered and has to shrink themselves in a desperate attempt to survive.
i love the posts making fun of male-written reviews that are butthurt that this movie isn’t for them just as much as the next person. but i think it’s important that we don’t forget that those are representative of the people in power, the people that could never understand this message. barbie is for me, yeah, but it isn’t just for me. it’s for my trans friend who is six feet tall and has a beard and wears pink dresses every single day because they make her feel pretty. it’s for my labmate who could practically be a barbie herself and irritates me every time she talks about thinphobia but also can’t find someone who wants to be with her because she’s brilliant and not because she’s beautiful.
it’s for the black linebacker who sat next to me in the theater and felt heard when a fictional character in a movie told him not to make himself smaller just to fit society’s standards.
I can’t stop thinking about how beautifully the Barbie movie portrays that often times when men (speaking in very binary terms, apologies) are hurt and feel wronged they’ll act out in ways that hurt people, may that be purposefully or inadvertently. And society enforces this. Meanwhile women, who are used to living in a hostile world, will often express and process their pains in ways that don’t harm others.
But Ken never wanted to hurt anyone. He just was hurt and didn’t know how to deal with it. He found the first thing that gave him an outlet and some inkling of comfort and latched onto it. And after Ken has had his supposed “villain arc”, Barbie isn’t mad at him. She lets him know it’s okay to cry.
The villain was never Ken himself, it was the fact that society is built in a way that prevents men from having ways to safely process and regulate their emotions. A society that punishes men for crying and confiding in friends and wanting to be comforted.
The Barbie movie isn’t anti men. It’s a big fuck you to our society that is hellbent on keeping everyone in an eternal cycle of hurt.
